Caliban – Opinion and Righteous Anger

Sarah and I handed in Eloïse’s Dutch passport application at the Dutch Consulate in San Mateo this morning. A huge pile of original papers, apostilles, passports, photographs and photocopies were handed over the counter, verified and finally accepted.

Because Sarah is not a Dutch citizen, she had to fill in a parental consent form, basically giving her permission for the passport application to go ahead.

After that, we paid our $66.50 ($41.50 of which is for the passport itself; $25 of which is for FedEx to send us the passport when it’s ready) and left the building, feeling immensely satisfied. This was a lot of hassle to prepare for and it’s nice to have it finally submitted and in processing.

Eloïse had to appear in person, but with Sarah’s folks now back on the east coast, the issue was moot, anyway.

Then, in the afternoon, the post came and I was delighted to discover that Eloïse’s social security card had already arrived. She’s not really old enough to sign it yet, but this is great news, as it means that Sarah and I can go and file Eloïse’s American passport application tomorrow.

At that point, I think we’ll have everything we need for her: birth certificate and social security number, plus both the Dutch and American passport applications in processing. Not bad, considering that she’s not yet three weeks old.

Well, today was a more productive day than yesterday.

First off, we went to see Sabine, our paediatrician, in the morning. There, we discovered that Eloïse has regained her birth weight, which is great news. It means she’s feeding well and getting the nutrients she needs. Her head even shows marginal growth.

After our paediatric visit, it was time to take on the hordes of civil servants again.

When we got home, there was a message from Rosanna, our midwife, on the answerphone. I played it back and listened to her recount the tale of a phone conversation she had had that very morning with the Mountain View social security office.

Apparently, after 45 minutes on the phone with them, she had finally got them to agree that a birth certificate and a midwife’s signed affidavit are sufficient forms of identification to obtain a social security number for a newborn.

Yesterday, I had been sent away empty-handed, because they didn’t consider Rosanna’s affidavit an official document. Today, thanks to Rosanna, I came away with a receipt for Eloïse’s social security number application, which should arrive in the next couple of weeks. With that, we can apply for an American passport for her. Of course, I did have to spend another two hours queuing in a singularly boring waiting room, but at least it was for the last time. Incidentally, this time, I was told that a birth certificate and an affidavit are sufficient, as long as the application is being filed within 30 days of the child’s date of birth.

From there, I headed down to the Office of the Clerk Recorder in San Jose to obtain certification of the preprinted signature of the health officer whose name is at the bottom of Eloïse’s birth certificate.

I still find this step rather puzzling. Firstly, a birth certificate is already a certification in itself. The signature at the bottom makes it a certified copy, so we’re already talking about a certified certificate. Then, the Clerk Recorder has to add her own certification to the certificate, because the signing health officer is not recognised by the California Secretary of State.

Anyway, $13 lighter, I emerged from the building, now carrying a certified certified certificate. I just love the text on this thing. Here’s an extract:

I further cerrtify that I am well acquainted with the handwriting of said official and believe that the signature to said annexed instrument is genuine.

It’s bad enough that the person whose name is on the original certificate is not recognised by government officials in the same state as that person, but when you read the above passage and then realise that the original signature is not even a real signature, but a preprinted one, you have to wonder if this whole process isn’t some bureaucrat’s idea of a practical joke.

Anyway, I now finally had a birth certificate that the Secretary of State would be happy with, so I sped up Highway 101 from San Jose to Golden Gate Avenue in San Francisco, where I laid down $26 to have an apostille attached to the birth certificate. That step was easy, at least.

This particular copy of Eloïse’s birth certificate now boasts four pages. This should enable us to obtain a Dutch passport for her. I’ll call the Dutch Consulate in the morning to make an appointment to file the application. We’ll also need to go and have some passport photographs taken of her.

This is by far the trickiest document to obtain. Not only do we need a copy of her birth certificate complete with an apostille, but we also need a copy of our marriage certificate, also adorned with an apostille. In that case, we had to obtain the document from the Secretary of State in Maine.

Finally, we need my Dutch passport, plus a copy of Sarah’s birth certificate. That, too, must carry an apostille, which, in this case, had to be obtained from the Secretary of State in Rhode Island.

And, just to make everything as hard as it can be, all original documents (including the apostilles attached to them) must be no older than one year. So, if you don’t quickly use your documents to obtain the papers you need them for, they start to expire and you quickly find yourself back at square one, having to request all of this crap all over again.

Anyway, like I said, we’ll be taking Eloïse out to get passport photographs tomorrow. Then, I’ll be making an appointment with the Dutch Consulate to apply for a passport in her name. The application for an American passport has to wait until we receive her social security number in the post.

Today has been strangely satisfying, as we’ve made significant inroads in the bureaucracy through which we have to wade.

It really is nice having Sarah’s folks here. They’re looking after us while we look after Eloïse. I change her nappies, Sarah feeds her, and Sarah’s folks feed us. Then, we all watch Cold Feet in the evening. It’s working out really well.

Yesterday was the inaugural ride of the Cameleon. As the midday sun was so hot, we stayed within the streets of the surrounding area before returning home. We’ll venture further afield when our days become less busy.

This week will be the week of bureaucracy, I think. We went down to the Office of Vital Records in San Jose this morning to register Eloïse’s birth and pick up copies of the birth certificate. That required one previous trip last week, plus the attendance of our midwife. They don’t make it easy.

As I’ve previously written, they can accommodate neither the diaeresis over her first name, nor the number of characters in her forenames. For that reason, she now has a two page birth certificate, the second page being an official amendment to the first one. The only alternative was to fill in multiple names in the box for her first name, which could have awkward implications for her if she chooses to spend any time in the US once she’s older.

Armed with the birth certificate, I had hoped to immediately get her a social security number, but it turns out that two forms of identification are required to obtain this detail. We have only one, of course: her birth certificate.

I had hoped to get by with an affidavit from our midwife, testifying that Eloïse is who we claim her to be and that she was born when her birth certificate claims she was, but after standing in the queue for an hour at the social security office, I discovered they were having none of it and they sent me away empty-handed. We’re going to try to get a note from our paediatrician tomorrow and hope that that will suffice.

Other forms of identification they would have accepted from us are a baptismal certificate, her hospital records and proof of immunisation. Great, except that our daughter hasn’t been baptised, wasn’t born in a hospital and won’t be receiving immunisations any time soon. This is just another way in which those who don’t follow the mainstream are discriminated against. As if a baptismal record is a better form of identification than an affidavit from the woman who delivered her! And whatever happened to the separation of church and state?

A parallel piece of bureaucracy I need to take care of is obtaining an apostille for Eloïse’s birth certificate. This is required by the Dutch authorities before they will grant her a Dutch passport.

Unfortunately, it turns out that the California Secretary of State in San Francisco will not accept a certified birth certificate from the Vital Records office of the county of Santa Clara, because those are signed by the area health officer (in fact, they’re not even signed: the signature is preprinted). They want me to go to the Office of the Clerk Recorder to have the health officer’s signature certified.

Can you believe it? This is already a legally certified birth certificate, but it needs to be a certified certified birth certificate before the California Secretary of State will accept it. It looks like another drive down to San Jose is in my near future. Assuming I can obtain that without too much grief, I’ll then need to drive to San Francisco to obtain the apostille.

One way or another, this is going to be a busy week. We’re taking photos as we go.