Waitress Service

Waitress service is what I’ve been enjoying over the last few days, having been rendered less than able to look after myself.

I just sit on the couch and watch TV, or sit behind my computer and surf the Net while listening to music. When it’s time to eat or drink, the missus calls and I dutifully hobble to the other room to consume what she has prepared. Some men would trade their groin being sliced open for a deal like that.

It’s a rough life. For Sarah, it is a rough life. She’s had to deal with not only the children and me, but also the tasks I would normally take care of. She also says I make a shitty patient, which is probably true.

Happily, my recovery is coming along in leaps and bounds. Thursday wasn’t much different to the day of the operation in terms of discomfort and disability, but yesterday I needed only 1000 mg of paracetamol to get me through the day, and even that was borderline.

Today, I took myself completely off this mild medication, as the discomfort/pain has dramatically subsided. It now merely feels as if I’ve pulled a few muscles rather badly. My abdomen is still rather swollen and the flesh around the wounds of the laparoscopic incisions is tender and hard, but it’s all very minor compared to what I was expecting (which was based on the specialist’s own admonishments not to underestimate the effects of the operation).

I can walk around fairly normally now, albeit at a slower than normal pace. I’m not allowed to bend over or pick up anything heavy, which is rather debilitating, of course. Biking and driving are also still several days removed, along with having a bath. Other than that, though, things are rapidly returning to normal and I’m obviously delighted with my progress.

The inguinal hernia that instigated all of this is thankfully also drastically reduced, if not completely gone. There’s still some mild swelling there, but that could be just fluid retention and may yet dissipate. On the other hand, perhaps the prosthesis that has been inserted into my groin is only 95% effective. I don’t know.

I’ve been sleeping in the guest bed since the operation and will continue to do so for the next few days. I’m afraid of getting a nocturnal kick in the goolies from one of the children. Even the thought of it makes me grimace.

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