I Hate My Internet Provider

My ADSL line is buggered and any hope of getting it working again within a two month period since the move is fading fast.

The KPN failed to move it on the day of our move and then lost track of the three (yes, three) work orders I had filed with them to move it. Ultimately and without any announcement in advance or explanation after the fact, they unilaterally cancelled the line and refunded me the portion of the line rental since the move.

Of course, the KPN only provide the line. XS4ALL is my Internet provider and, as far as their records are concerned, I’m still receiving ADSL service. That this service has no line to serve as carrier doesn’t seen to interest them.

I’ve been an XS4ALL customer for nearly thirteen years now. Way back when, they were unquestionably the best provider, by a considerable margin. Even recently, when my ADSL was working, it was the most reliable and robust ADSL I’ve ever had, certainly much more reliable than the DSL service I had in the US, first through PacBell and later through Speakeasy.

Anyway, I now had the seemingly simple task of explaining to them that the KPN had cancelled the line.

After several phone calls, it was becoming apparent that trying to get the line reactivated as part of the original move order was a strategy that wasn’t making any progress. Around this time, the KPN credited me for the line and it became apparent there was no longer a line to move.

It pains me to say it, but XS4ALL seem more interested in blaming the KPN for what has happened than they do in fixing my problem, namely that I still have no ADSL, even though I’m paying XS4ALL’s monthly fee for their half of the service.

After multiple calls, resulting in multiple promises to call me back, only a couple of which were actually kept, XS4ALL now want me to notify them in writing that I am terminating my subscription. This, they say, will allow me to begin again with a clean slate, so that I can then file an application for ADSL service. Groan.

They go on to say that there’s a month’s notice period before they can terminate the service, which is ridiculous, since termination is what they advise, not what I actually want. Furthermore, let’s not forget that I’m not actually receiving any service, because their business partner arbitrarily discontinued my line.

XS4ALL don’t seem the slightest bit interested that:

• I don’t actually want to discontinue the service. On the contrary, I desire to continue it.

• I don’t really care that this all started because of a mistake by the KPN. I just want the problem fixed.

• It’s unprofessional to blame the other party in your business partnership, namely the KPN.

• It’s very unprofessional for one employee at XS4ALL to blame another for giving incorrect information and making promises that can’t be kept. Even if another employee is at fault, the customer isn’t to blame for having received the information and pledge to resolve the issue. Train your bloody employees and honour any promises you make to your customers.

• It’s not reasonable to expect the customer to indefinitely act as an intermediary in the solution of his own problem, when that problem stems directly from the poor interaction and integration between XS4ALL and the KPN. Not only is it poor customer service to make the customer engage in the fixing of a problem that you, the service provider, caused, but in this case it’s impossible for the customer to even bring about the fix. Only willing cooperation between the KPN and XS4ALL can remedy the situation and no amount of cajoling by a single private customer who pays a small monthly amount for domestic DSL service is going to shunt either of these apathetic dinosaurs into action.

• If you promise to call someone back, you really should honour that promise.

Why can’t XS4ALL, who blame the KPN for what has happened, fix the problem by dealing with the KPN directly? Why can’t the KPN, who admit that the move was botched, call XS4ALL to get the problem fixed? Why on earth am I bounced between two parties, like a ball-bearing in a pinball machine, without any sign of slow progress towards an end solution?

XS4ALL now claim that the KPN is still going to move the line as part of a move order. The KPN, however, claim that the move order is dead and will not happen under any circumstances. I believe them, because they’ve already credited me for the line and I just don’t believe that the KPN will be giving me a freebie. That would be a first.

XS4ALL now also tell me not to cancel my subscription, because said move will be complete soon. They believe this even in the face of the KPN’s statement that there is no active move order. Anything’s possible, I suppose, but it doesn’t sound very likely.

Of course, XS4ALL can’t tell me when the move will be complete. They also won’t send me a new ISDN modem until the move is complete, which means that I can’t actually test the line to find out when it become active.

So, I’m basically supposed to wait an indeterminate amount of time in the hope that the line will one day magically spring into life (with the KPN denying any intention to make that happen), at which point I can call again and ask — again — for an ISDN modem to be sent. Another employee even tells me that I won’t be able to get an ISDN modem, because XS4ALL considers my line to be analogue, which, of course, it was until I moved and had it converted to ISDN.

A strongly worded letter of complaint went to XS4ALL by e-mail on Monday, but so far, I have heard nothing back. They promise to respond as soon as possible, so clearly, not much is possible in XS4ALL’s world.

How are the mighty fallen. What a bunch of dickless wonders. No-one cares one iota whether they lose this long-standing customer or not. There’s no commercial ambition, no sense of pride and no empathy for the customer. This is the kind of dismally poor service that makes you want to see their business fail and go down the gutter.

The only saving grace in all of this is that the neighbour’s open wireless network is still providing faithful service.

I got tired of being able to access the Internet only from the laptop, so I patched the jack in the conservatory onto the home network. With the laptop plugged in there, it’s now multi-homed, i.e. on both the home network and the neighbour’s wireless network. With IP masquerading and forwarding set up, my laptop is now a router for the other computers in the home, including the Sonos music boxes.

Double masquerading via a Linux laptop and an insecure wireless gateway managed by some arbitrary person here in the neighbourhood won’t win any beauty contests, but hey, it works and all of my boxes can get to the outside world again. And, let’s not forget, It’s providing better service for free than the KPN and XS4ALL have been able to provide me with since I moved. Useless tossers.

At this point, I begrudge XS4ALL another cent, but I’m afraid they might still be the best of a bad bunch. Better the devil you know and all that.

To avoid further disappointment, I’m now aiming for restored service by the end of November. That ought to be attainable, right? Right?