Financial Advice

I was lucky enough to be able to attend a talk today by Burton Malkiel, esteemed author of The Random Walk Guide To Investing and A Random Walk Down Wall Street.

With an IPO on the horizon, my employer has taken the amazing step of inviting companies and speakers to come in and educate us, the humble workforce, about the shark-infested world known as the financial investment market.

Slowly but surely, I’m learning what index and mutual funds are, as well as small vs. large cap stocks, actively vs. passively managed funds, etc. I now know what an 83b election is; I even largely understand AMT tax and grasp when I would pay short term capital gains tax vs. long term.

Of course, for all the education, my attitude hasn’t changed very much: I don’t actually want to know any of this. It’s just plain bloody boring. Things were a lot simpler when I had neither a pot to piss in, nor a window to throw it through, as the saying goes.

The rush of advisors and investors, all eager to get me on the hook as a customer, serves to remind me that some people are taking the IPO very seriously, indeed. It’s a useful reminder that behind all the hype, something quite unique is coming to pass. And true enough, it could turn out to be a life-changing event.

We’ll see what happens. I come from a very modest background, so it’s hard to imagine ever really transcending that, especially by way of something as patently silly as a stock market floatation. My parents taught me that if I worked hard, I would be rewarded. At the same time, they worked hard and died poor.

IPOs really go against the work ethic. Roll into work around noon, lazily tap some things into a computer and you stand to make a fortune. Meanwhile, ambulance drivers, firemen and teachers struggle to make a living. It’s strange what society values and decides to reward, don’t you think?

And to think that the only reason I went into this business was that I liked playing with computers. I could just as easily have been turned on by sociology, and where would that have put me now?

Work hard, my arse. It’s all about luck. You make your own decisions in this life, but you need a fair amount of luck as well, to get ahead. I hope mine holds out a little longer.

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