Caliban – Opinion and Righteous Anger

Thanksgiving Saturday and I’m in the office, reading e-mail.

Arrived back in San Francisco last Thursday with no immigration hassles whatsoever. The experience just left me wondering why I’d bothered to spend four whole weeks out of the country when I seemingly could have come back unmolested. Hmm, maybe it was the smart clothing that I’d purchased at De Bijenkorf.

I fell off my bike Tuesday evening and spent most of that evening in the Emergency Room at the St. Francis Memorial Hospital. After some x-rays, it turned out that I had damaged my Achilles tendon. They gave me some major painkillers and crutches, and sent me on my way.

I had to take Wednesday off work sick, and went to see an orthopedist to find out exactly how bad the damage to my foot was. It turned out not to be all that bad; just some spraining, bruising and puncturing. He prescribed me some anti-inflammatory tablets and I spent the rest of the day with my foot elevated and packed in ice.

According to the doctor I saw, it would be several days before the constant pain subsided, six or so days before I could put any weight on the foot, and ten or more days before I would be able to bike again.

Thursday saw me hobble downstairs to the car for the drive to Berkeley for Thanksgiving at friends of Sarah’s folks, who are in town for a week, visiting. It was nice to meet people and spend time in the company of people with whom I do not work.

Yesterday was spent quietly at the flat. I ventured out without my crutches to go to the video shop, since I’m growing tired of being a cripple.

Sarah wanted a day with her folks today, so I was turfed out of the flat. I decided to try riding my bike, so I biked over to Start-to-Finish to get some repairs made to my bike. The front brake mechanism in particular had taken quite a whack in the fall.

After breakfast at Max’s, I biked over to Townsend Street to do some work, from where I’m writing this diary entry.

So, it feels good to be back in San Francisco. It’s especially nice to be able to walk around in a dry environment once again after the constant deluge to which I was subjected in Amsterdam.

The presents I brought back from Amsterdam went down very well, especially the pralines and hagelslag.

I found an on-line store last night that sells hagelslag and lots of similar Dutch treats. The prices are absurd, so I think I’ll just get my ex to send over a box full of goodies from Albert Heijn.

I got offered a job in London a few days ago for GB ₤145,000 (US $200,000) per annum. Sometimes I wonder whether I have my priorities right.

I need to write to Jeff Johnson. He wants to put my RPM completion code for bash 2.04 into the RPM distro. That would be cool.

Just one more day in Amsterdam, then it’s back to the US. My stay here has dragged at times, but I’ve enjoyed it immensely, too. It was great to see my cats and my old friends again.

Amsterdam really is a nice city. I can see myself getting very wistful about it once I’m back in San Francisco. Nevertheless, I’m looking forward to seeing my girlfriend again more than anything. A month away after having lived only two months in the same city really sucks.

I went out to the cinema with Herman tonight to see Rules of Engagement. It was a nice, undemanding film: just what I needed.

Most of my shopping is now done. Birthday and Christmas presents have been purchased, and the dreaded sorting through old clothes, shoes and personal possessions has begun, in preparation for my return to the States.

The longer I’m here, the more I realise the importance of identity, knowing and accepting who and what you are, and not turning your back on the environment that shaped and formed you.

Amsterdam is truly a wonderful place, and I’m proud to be Dutch, in spite of all the minor annoyances of the place. Society here is incredibly civilized; it’s just a shame that the smoking policy is so backward.

I will feel very melancholic to leave Amsterdam at the end of this trip, even though I’m looking forward to seeing Sarah again more than anything. It’s been home to me for so long now.

Tomorrow, I have to put together a document for work, transfer my GSM phone to my ex-girlfriend, open a new high interest bank account for my savings, and perform numerous other errands.

I don’t have much time left now. Tuesday will see me at the dentist for a major overhaul, and much of Wednesday will be spent rushing around, putting my belongings back into storage.

Then comes Thursday, which is, of course, the day I return home. Home is an interesting concept. I’ve come to realise that even this is relative in today’s age.

Just one more week to go before I return to the USA.

It’s wet and very cold here in Amsterdam, so I won’t be sorry to leave. I wish I could enjoy my time here more, though, since I may not be back for a long while.

It’s not like I haven’t been doing anything nice here. I’ve been really busy and have seen virtually all of my old friends. However, nothing takes away from the sense of missing my girlfriend and the environment now familiar to me in San Francisco.

I heard from Chet Ramey that my group completion patch has been accepted and will go into bash 2.06, so that’s pretty cool.

Well, just a few more days now. I’ll go out and buy some presents over the next few days and start packing the stuff away that I want to take back to the USA with me again.

Before I know it, I’ll be back in San Francisco and probably regretting that I didn’t make more of my time here, though to be honest, I just haven’t been in the mood to program, update my home page, answer old e-mail and do all the other things I promised myself I would.

Tired. Very, very, very, very tired.

Amsterdam, The Netherlands. 82% humidity. Sticky and overcast, but thankfully not raining.

San Francisco seems a long way away right now.

Arrived at 11:00 this morning after an 11 hour flight and headed straight for the KLM ticket office to purchase my return trip. I’ll be flying back to San Francisco on 16th November, four weeks from now.

It’s nice to see my cats again. They don’t appear to have forgotten who I am.

It’s very strange to be here again after more than 6 months away. I knew it would be an interesting experience, but I’m surprised by the degree to which everything feels alien. I feel overwhelmed by a sense of this place being a closed chapter in my life.

It also felt very strange to be met at the airport by Jo, my ex. She now wears green contact lenses that seem very striking to me, offset as they are against her dark hair.

Got to stay awake for a few more hours yet to get my body onto CET. Maybe I’ll call a couple of old friends later. For now, I think I’ll turn my attention to a couple of e-mails.

I have to make the best of this enforced trip, I know that, but right now, all I can think of is going home to San Francisco and Sarah.