Caliban – Opinion and Righteous Anger

A little known fact is that Sarah and I started arguing over names pretty much right after we started going out together. It’s a good thing the discussions started early, as there was a lot of ground to cover. Since she got pregnant, it’s been a battle against time to narrow down the potential names to a manageable short-list.

Things were compounded by the fact that Sarah and I have different nationalities and come from superficially similar, yet very distinct cultures. Roll in the extra complication that we chose not to be told whether we were having a boy or a girl until the moment of truth, and you might be able to understand the scope of the issue and sympathise a little better with our plight.

In the end, events overtook us and we really did run out of time, although we had at least come up with a few serious contenders for either a boy or a girl. Using that list, we’ve been involved in an iterative process over the last couple of days and have finally arrived at a name with which we are both very happy.

Our little progeny will cease to carry the pre-launch project monicker of Franbert and will henceforth be known as Eloïse Amalia Liesbeth Hermione. I don’t really have an opinion on the surname, but Sarah prefers Macdonald over the double-barrelled McKenna-Macdonald, so that’s what we’re giving her.

For those of you curious how to pronounce her name, we’ve recorded the correct pronunciation for you.

Incidentally, at the moment Sarah and I said, “OK, this is your new name”, Eloïse farted and let out a gigantic dump into her nappy. Hopefully, that wasn’t an expression of distaste for her new name.

Sarah has finally found a breastfeeding technique that works well for her. My step-sister, Fenella, pointed us in the direction of Baby-Led Feeding, which offers an alternative way of producing a good latch from the baby onto the boob. Since this discovery, breastfeeding is progressing a lot more easily for Sarah. I no longer have to help her latch the baby on, suckling causes less pain and the baby gets her food more quickly.

Of course, what goes in must come out and Eloïse’s poop is now in the transitional stage. The thick tar-like meconium has almost completely passed through her and is now making way for lighter, curry-coloured poop. It doesn’t even smell bad, I must admit. I’m doing most of the nappy-changing around here, which is fine. It’s the least I can do after what Sarah has done for me, which is to provide me with the most precious thing I’ve ever possessed. It also allows me to feel paternally involved, which helps me bond with her.

Eloïse is now a full three days old. The time is passing so quickly. Before I know it, she’ll be bringing boys home and I’ll be wanting to break their unworthy little legs.

Tomorrow is Monday, but I don’t have to go to work. I know it’s a bit drastic to have a baby to get a few weeks off work, but I’ve always been a bit on the radical side. Google gives me a full seven weeks off for my paternity leave, which is incredibly good; much better than I’d get back in The Netherlands and one of the few benefits that is given more generously in the US (although it has more to do with the generosity of the state of California and my particular employer than it does with the federal government).

We also get to declare $500 in food expenses over the next four weeks, as it’s recognised that it’s hard to cook when you’re rushing around after a newborn baby.

Tomorrow, we’ll be making the trip to the paediatrician. That will be Eloïse’s first time out in the car. I’m going to be driving a little more slowly tomorrow than I usually do. There, she’ll be checked out to make sure that she’s not losing weight and everything else is progressing as nature intended.

Sabina is a holistic paediatrician, one of the very few. She, like us, believes that most of the immunisations that are commonly given to babies are either useless or downright dangerous. We’ve therefore elected to skip all of them for the first couple of years of Eloïse’s life. After that, her immune system will be better developed and we will give her the injections as needed. We believe this approach will lead to fewer allergies later in life, as well as less exposure to potentially harmful side-effects. Most of the common immunisations (such as hepatitis), we’ll be skipping entirely, however, as we believe they serve no useful purpose.

Sleeping with Eloïse in between us is a lot of fun. It’s so nice to wake up and see her lying there peacefully next to me. She’s so well-behaved and cries very infrequently, even when she’s mostly naked and having her nappy changed. I don’t know who she inherited her stoic personality from, but both Sarah and I are really enjoying it.

Don’t forget to check out the latest batch of photos.

Parenting has begun in earnest today. Where have all the hours gone?

Between breastfeeding, nappy changing, doing the laundry, preparing food for Sarah, tidying up, cuddling the baby and fielding phone calls, the whole day has somehow almost unnoticeably been devoured.

Time has ceased to have meaning. In my mind, the baby was born yesterday, but it was, of course, actually the evening before. The hours are all starting to meld together, because the days are no longer clearly separated by distinct periods of sleep and waking.

Pearl came over this morning to give Sarah lactation advice and check her fundus. The baby has a partially receded chin, compounded by the bad habit of pulling in her lips when she suckles (a habit probably picked up from sucking her own fingers whilst in the womb), so she’s predisposed to be a little difficult to breastfeed. With perseverance, I’m sure we’ll get there, but it’s been tricky work thus far. You’d think there was nothing to it, right? Here’s a big tit and a hungry mouth: make these things work together. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a little more complicated than that.

The little one appears to have a blocked tear duct in her left eye, so it’s oozing some yellow gunk. Our paediatrician advised us to drop some chamomile tea in there, which we’re now doing. Sarah is now also hand-expressing a few drops of milk into her eye, as the anti-bacterial properties of the milk are also good for her.

The phone has rung many times today. Many people are calling to congratulate us and express their desire to come and visit. Both Sarah and I are pretty exhausted, however, so I think we’re going to avoid making any visiting appointments until further notice.

Soon after publication, Sarah had second thoughts and pulled the labour gallery from the Web site. She somehow found a few moments to audit the photos and hide those that she considers too private, so an expurgated labour gallery is now once again available.

Sarah’s breasts are now rapidly becoming engorged, as the thick colostrum makes way for the normal supply of milk. The physiological changes in her are visible with the naked eye. They’re swelling up and getting firmer by the hour. It’s quite remarkable.

After several nappy changes today, the final remnants of vernix are starting to disappear from the cracks of the baby’s legs, as wiping away the poop inevitably removes the last vestiges of the cheesy substance that protected her whilst she was in the womb.

The reason some vernix can still be found in the cracks of her limbs is that she has not been bathed since birth. She therefore still has her newborn smell, which is a curious, inoffensive and endearing scent, quite unlike anything else I’ve ever smelt.

Speaking of birth-related material, her back is covered in a fine layer of lanugo that is incredibly soft to the touch. It’s as if she’s half gerbil! I’ll try to capture it in a photo if the opportunity presents itself.

Rosanna’s coming back for another visit in the morning, just to check up on things. That’s pretty much our only scheduled obligation for the day, but we only had one today, too, and yet that managed to sail by with no problem at all.

Anyway, we made some progress on finding a name today. I think we’ll be ready to make an important announcement tomorrow. Watch this space.

We only managed to squeeze in a few new photos today. Basically, we’ll put up a new album each day for the first week, then just selected new photos. We don’t want to bore you all to death.

If yesterday was as busy as hell, today didn’t provide much respite.

The day started early with some mild crying. We slowly rose to greet the day and set about calling Sabina, our paediatrician, to make an appointment. She was able to come later the same day, so we made an appointment for 14:00.

Rosanna came over soon afterwards to draw some blood from Sarah. This is needed as part of the cord blood banking in which we have enrolled. Once Sarah’s blood was drawn (the baby’s cord blood was extracted last night), I called CBR to schedule the pick-up of the blood samples. Those should now be safely ensconced in the lab, somewhere in Arizona.

We took our new baby to the supermarket this afternoon, marking her first time out of the house since being born. We needed to go out to stock up on supplies, as I’m not supposed to leave Sarah alone for the first 48 hours after birth. There’s too much risk of haemorrhage, for example.

Soon after we got back, Sabina arrived and found absolutely nothing wrong with the baby. She’s a glowing, healthy girl, just as she appears. We have another visit with her at her office on Monday.

Rosanna came back at 18:00 to examine Sarah. All appears well, but Sarah is under orders to eat well and not make too many trips up and down the stairs.

In the evening, Geoff (henceforth Uncle Geoff) came over and the bunch of us all ordered takeaway pizza from Pizza Chicago, which is normally where we hang out on a Friday night. Since we don’t really want to expose the baby to so much stimulation and potential for germs until her immune system is more developed, we had pizza at home instead.

In the midst of this, we somehow managed to put up some more photos, as we’ve been getting complaints from people that the baby isn’t clear enough in the first lot. I think you’ll enjoy the new photos.

Sarah and I would both like to thank everyone for their congratulations and warm wishes over the last 24 hours. They’ve been really heartening. It’s good to know that so many people out there care about us.

Anyway, there’s time for a quick shower before bedtime. Cramming it all in is already starting to prove difficult.

Pearl’s coming back tomorrow to provide lactation advice to Sarah. Feeding the little one is proving a little tricky, but she fed well this evening, so we’re now confident she’s getting enough colustrum to see her through to the real milk.

Tomorrow is also the day when the serious business of naming of the baby must begin in earnest. Soon, there will be no more Franbert, only…

Just two days after the arrival of our Bugaboo Cameleon, its occupant decided that the time was right to put in an appearance.

Franbert entered into the world at precisely 19:00 PDT on Thursday, 12th May, some 39 weeks and 1 day into her gestation. If you’re east of the mid-Atlantic, you can consider her born on Friday, 13th May. She weighed in at 3400g and measured 51cm in length. All of her bits and pieces are in place and add up to the right number. In short, she’s a perfectly healthy baby girl.

The fact that Franbert turned out to be a girl utterly astonished both Sarah and me. We had both been certain it would turn out to be a boy; I don’t know why, but we were sure. Well, we clearly don’t have a sixth sense for gender.

We’d like to thank Rosanna (our midwife), Kristin (our doula) and Pearl (our labour assistant) for their fantastic assistance during this intense experience. We were wonderfully privileged to have them as our birth management team and will always be deeply indebted to each of them.

If you’re looking for photos, you’ve come to the right place. More to come as and when we find time.

Sarah made me censor the more interesting labour photos. We might be able to save a few from being consigned to the private family annals by some judicious cropping. if so, we’ll add those later.

I can’t tell you how proud I am right now. I am the father of a beautiful baby girl, but I’m also indescribably proud of Sarah, who experienced a completely natural homebirth (i.e. with no medication), just the way nature intended it to be. The experience was intensely emotional for both of us and has unquestionably brought us closer together as a couple.

After two months underway from The Netherlands to California, our Bugaboo Cameleon finally turned up this afternoon. In spite of the weight of the package and the length of time spent in transit, it arrived in great condition.

After inspecting the contents of the box, Sarah and I spent the evening reading the instructions and assembling Franbert’s new buggy. I’d heard that the forerunner to the Cameleon, the Frog, is quite involved to set up, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that there wasn’t all that much to assembling the Cameleon.

The improvements with respect to the Frog are definitely appreciated. The extensible push-bar is nice for parents of varying heights and the adjustable suspension on the castor wheels should make for a comfy riding experience for both baby and parent on all sorts of terrain.

Our chosen colour combination of a blue base unit with supplemental orange turns out to have been a pretty good one. Franbert’s going to look very snazzy in his new vechicle. We can’t wait to take him out for a spin in it.

We made one minor mistake in purchasing a Maxi-Cosi car seat adaptor for the Cameleon. We thought this was identical to the American Graco car seat adaptor, but it turns out to be a very different part, so we’re going to purchase a Graco car seat adaptor tomorrow at a local shop. Apparently, the adaptors for the Frog fit the Cameleon, too, so we can just buy a Graco adaptor locally and use that to affix our SnugRide to the Cameleon.

The Maxi-Cosi adaptor won’t actually be wasted, either, as it happens. When we eventually move back to Europe, our intention is to purchase a Maxi-Cosi car seat, anyway, as they are widely regarded as being the best on the market. Like the Cameleon, however, they’re not available on the American market. Whilst it seemed worth the time and trouble to import a Cameleon, we’re not fussy enough to go to the extra expense of importing a car seat, since the Graco is very good, too, so we’ll stick with that while we’re in the US.

It’s a relief that the Cameleon has finally turned up. I must confess I was starting to get a little worried about it. The nappy bag and transport bag are still in transit, however. They were sent about a month after the Cameleon itself, so I don’t think we’ll be seeing those until some time in early June, at which point Franbert will be amongst us.

Sarah hits 39 weeks tomorrow. F-Day is just one week away. The excitement continues to mount.