The old groin goes under the surgeon’s scalpel in just a few hours.
I have to be at the hospital at 07:30, so I have a taxi picking me up at 06:50. The idea of a 06:30 wake-up is almost as unpleasant as the idea of the operation itself.
Assuming my surgeon and anaesthetist aren’t having an off-day or preoccupied with concerns that their wife might be shagging the next-door neighbour, it should be a straightforward procedure and I should be lying in the recovery room within an hour of going into theatre.
If either one of them is having an off-day, well, then either that taxi ride in the morning will be the last thing I ever do on this earth or I’ll emerge from hospital some time tomorrow afternoon a drooling vegetable.
But let’s hope not, eh?
Good luck, Ian.
I was going to tease you about being dramatic with the “last day on earth” and “drooling vegetable” bit. But, then I realized I’ll feel really bad if it was your last day on earth, or you wind up a drooling vegetable.
You’ll be fine… 🙂
Ah, you see? You didn’t want to call me dramatic, because like me, you realise that there’s a small, yet very real chance of something going horribly wrong.
And that’s all I meant. I like to go into any experience with a realistic expectation of the probable outcome, as well as an awareness of all other possible outcomes.
Similarly, I never board a plane or step into a car without an awareness that it may prove to be the last thing I ever do. If the plane goes spiralling towards the sea four hours into the flight, I want to have made my peace with the notion before boarding. I don’t want to waste my precious last moments thinking, ‘Oh shit, I’m going to die’ when I could be thinking about my children instead.
So, I don’t think I’m overly morbid or dramatic. It’s easy to confuse my words with fear, but I was actually only a little nervous.
I’m just being realistic in considering all eventualities.