Babies do weird things to people; well, not even babies. Foetuses do weird things to people.
For some reason, I have been drawn into the dark, subterranean world of… baby shopping. That’s right, there’s nothing I now like more than ambling around baby shops on a Saturday afternoon, looking at all of the lovely little clothes that are available. They look so cosy; I wish they made them in my size, even though I probably couldn’t pull off wearing an all-in-one outfit with ducks on the feet.
My favourite brand is Kissy Kissy. The name might be vile, but the clothing is simply lovely. The designs are eye-catching, but don’t pander to archetypal ideas of what is fitting for a boy or a girl. Most, if not all, of the clothing seems to be made from cotton, too; no nasty man-made fibres.
Babies are a good excuse for more geekwear, too. ThinkGeek has a good catalogue. My own employer has its own small line, too.
Sarah can look forward to a baby shower a few months from now, but what about me? I want a baby shower, too! Equal rights for dads! Seriously, I hope my colleagues are reading this and throw me a baby shower. There really isn’t much that would please me more.
What’s a baby shower? People shower you with gifts? If that’s so, I want one, too!
About baby shopping: it’s so awful. The marketing that goes along with it is enough for me to ruin my mood. I want to go shopping for a stroller, but when I see slogans like: “For the beautiful yoing and active dad who wants to have happy happy happy babies”, it makes me sick. I want to be treated like a person, not a consumer-daddy. When I want to eat I want food, not a happy-meal.
Anyway, that’s my gripe. I do find those baby-clothes really adorable, I’m not a stuck-up grumpy person or anything.
Yes, a baby shower is a party where people shower you with gifts. I didn’t know the phenomenon either until I came to the US.
You’re right about the consumerism involved in baby shopping. Manufacturers seem to make a special effort to prey on the obvious desire of many parents to give their child the absolute best. Parents (to be) are an especially vulnerable target for the marketing people, who will use fear and guilt to make you buy something.
Pushchairs are a particularly good example, as you point out. I really like the Bugaboo Frog, but every time I see some advertising, it shows me some dickhead Hollywood celebrity pushing one and tells me I can be just like them.
Who the hell wants to be like them? It does put you right off the product, even if you liked it before you saw the advertising.
When they’re not pushing the pushchair as a fashion accessory, they’re pushing it as if it were a car and we all know that every guy is crazy about cars, right? Not me!
I’m not trying to look cool or sophisticated in the neighbourhood (as if!). I’m not trying to turn the heads of those around me and get myself noticed. I just want a comfortable and practical pushchair for the baby. Aargh!
Point taken.
I think you’re dreaming about the baby shower. We American males are too homophobic to entertain the idea of shopping for baby clothes and then having a party about it with tiny little tea cups and stuff.
Maybe if it involved pouring sports drink over you at a monster truck show…
Google Onesie
Finally, there’s a Google Onesie available at the GoogleStore. It’s $11.75, white, and made by Hanes, whose global reputation for high quality childrenswear has made Onesie the bodysuit brand parents ask for by name. What’s that, Onesie is a trademark …