Finally, I can reveal to you the plan that has been in place for, well, I no longer even know how long; more than one year, but less than four, that’s for sure.
So, without further ado, beating about the bush, procrastination, delaying tactics or stalling: Sarah and I are moving to The Netherlands on 12th August; back to Amsterdam, to be precise.
In anticipation of this move, I have resigned from my position at Google and am now serving out my notice. My last day of work is expected to be 2nd August, but I’ll be using up a couple of weeks of accrued holiday prior to that.
We have also given notice on our house, so we’ve pretty much sealed our fate on this side of the Atlantic. On the other side of the ocean, we have rented a house in the gezellige neighbourhood of Amsterdam known as de Jordaan and are looking forward to moving in.
As most of our friends know, we’ve actually had the plan of moving back to The Netherlands every year since 2002, primarily because I would reliably reach an annual point whereby I felt I couldn’t stand another moment living in the US.
Somehow, with considerable encouragement and propping up from Sarah, I would manage to find it in myself each time to persevere with the pursuit of significant financial gain, rather than yield to the more immediately gratifying option of resigning and leaving behind the misery of living in the US.
The idea was that, if I could just bend over and take it like a man for a few more years, it might just end up being the very last time that I would be beholden to another person or institution for a living. Sarah was right; it made sound financial sense, but it went against the grain, because I have never before opted to remain in a situation that I felt was soul-destroying. It was hard and there were a multitude of moments along the way at which my spirit flagged.
This all makes it sound as if Google has been a horrible place to work, but that’s actually far from being the case. On the contrary, the company has been incredibly good to me, paying me handsomely, feeding and massaging me, taking care of all of my US immigration bureaucracy and, most recently, allowing me a stupendous seven weeks of paternity leave. It’s hard to have complaints about treatment like that.
No, it’s more the case that the US for me, personally, has shown itself to be an incredibly suffocating and toxic place to live. I could ramble on incessantly about my experiences as a stranger in this strange land, but suffice it to say that I have experienced this country as obsessively politically correct, environmentally irresponsible, globally contemptuous, geographically ignorant, woefully poorly educated, historically oblivious, gullible, jingoistic, beligerent, falsely proud, maniacally religious, selfish, greedy, poorly integrated, uncaring, apathetic and generally bereft of any sense of community or collective purpose beyond self-aggrandisement, a pursuit fuelled by the usual government-instigated sabre-rattling and concoction of a common enemy du jour.
As usual, the rest of the world gets dragged along in the wake of this clumsy playground bully of a nation, sending shockwaves rippling across the entire globe, consequences with which the rest of us must live.
Again, another disclaimer is perhaps in order. I have nothing against Americans as individuals. I have many good friends who happen to be American (er, Sarah, for example) and they, too, are appalled by what they see happening to this country. They, too, are sickened by the religious psychosis of their so-called leaders and the apathy or resignation with which this is generally met by their fellow citizens.
It seems that after decades upon decades of being governed by self-serving profiteers in a two-party system, Americans as a people have come to expect no better. Huge numbers of them are resigned to the fact that, no matter who is in power, they are pretty much fucked anyway and at the mercy of whichever flavour of glib liar happens to inhabit the whitehouse at the time.
As an alien (such a lovely word), it’s time to put my money where my mouth is and extricate myself and my family from the system. My feet are itching to walk on board a plane and distance myself from all of the god-fearing, Bush-voting, flag-waving, chest-beating, SUV-driving, latte-sipping numbskulls with a ‘Support Our Troops’ bumper sticker. You may all collectively kiss my arse.
It’s time to pull the plug and resume real life where I left it five and a half years ago, far away from the tinseltown that is Silicon Valley. Thankfully, Sarah shares my belief that a better life awaits her elsewhere, so there’s never been any disagreement over the decision to leave. With little Eloïse recently having put in an appearance, the timing really couldn’t be better, as Sarah’s life has also reached an important watershed.
Will I miss anything about the US? Definitely. Friday lunches with friends at Clarke’s; free refills on soft drinks; criminally good milkshakes at The Creamery; Krispy Kreme; Pizza Chicago; the innumerable good places to get breakfast at the weekend; the scenery of the hills around the peninsula; biking up the beautiful Marin Headlands and looking down over San Francisco Bay; the Californian coastline; the wonderful National Park Service; the many squirrels in our area; the colourful birds that fly in our skies; the balmy climate; the relatively close proximity to Hawaii (a pleasant 5 hour flight from here); the amount of personal space living in an uncrowded part of the world affords you; and, not to be forgotten, having worked for one of the hottest and most influential companies currently on the planet, alongside the smartest team of sysadmins I have ever had the pleasure of calling my colleagues.
But that really does sum up the good points about living here, as far as I’m concerned. Every other aspect of living in the US irks me and has slowly eroded my patience to the point whereby I can no longer leave the house and walk in any direction of the compass for sixty seconds without being riled by some trivial, yet cogent testament to stupidity or grotesqueness. Fuck this shit; enough is enough.
So, what’s next for us? In the immediate future, full-time parenthood. Eloïse won’t be a baby for long, so we intend to enjoy every moment of her burgeoning youth and miss out on nothing. Obviously, that means that neither of us has any plans to work for the foreseeable future.
Naturally, some things cannot be put off. Sarah will enrol in Dutch language classes and I will be attempting to shed the 20+ kilos of tripe and flab that I have gained since moving to the US. Both of these projects will take some time to complete, although I sincerely hope to no longer be a fat bastard some time before Sarah can speak fluent Dutch.
Our new home is a six month lease with the option to renew for a further six months. We chose this particular construction, because we intend to quickly begin the search for a more permanent home to purchase. (Thanks, by the way, to Marc and Jo for viewing the property and voicing your opinions.)
In the meantime, the supermarket is just a few doors away, with a natural supermarket just a little further up in the same street. In fact, our street has its own home page, with a list of every business that operates there.
It’s going to be so nice to be able to push Eloïse in her pram when we need to do groceries, rather than having to take the car. Indeed, we have no plans to own a car in Amsterdam, as bicycles and public transport will cover almost every eventuality. For the other occasions, there’s Greenwheels.
In the longer term, Sarah and I will both need to find ways to socialise and achieve intellectual fulfilment, the most obvious voids created by the vacuum of our abandoned jobs. Sarah will have her Dutch classes and a mother’s group; I have a number of computer projects that I can work on, but those are solitary pursuits, so the need for socialisation will remain.
I may therefore look into starting my own company. I’m currently considering what exactly such a venture would offer, but I’m sure it would have something to do with the Internet and possibly also music. I’m also entertaining the idea of running a coffee and cake shop, although I’d probably want to find an experienced partner to join me in such an endeavour, because I know bugger all about the catering business.
Lastly, I intend to show Sarah around Europe and then the rest of the world. We have a lot of ground to cover before Eloïse reaches schooling age. I’ve promised friends in Switzerland and New Zealand that we will visit them soon after relocating, so I have to make good on those promises, too.
So, just in case you were in any doubt, I can assure you that we’re going to have no shortage of things to do. Between caring for Eloïse, Dutch lessons, house-hunting, world travel, our hobbies and looking into business ventures, we’re not going to find ourselves twiddling our thumbs in boredom any time soon.
Sarah and I are both very excited at the prospect of living in Amsterdam (again). Whilst we’ve been extremely privileged during our time in Silicon Valley, it’s been taxing, too, and I, for one, am feeling quite exhausted after the last half decade here. I’m looking forward to slowly recharging my batteries over the course of the next couple of years, Eloïse’s demands notwithstanding.
As luck would have it, we already have our first visitor booked to come and stay with us. My good friend Geoff has already purchased his plane ticket and will be coming to stay with us for a week in October. That’s going to be a lot of fun.
If you’re interested in the area in which we’re going to live, check out some of the links below:
